Small talk is a skill that can be hard to grasp. Striking up a conversation with acquaintances (or sometimes complete strangers) can be a challenge, even for the most gifted gabber. While you may loathe small talk, research shows that it helps build a stronger sense of community and belonging.
“Small talk gets a bad rap because it feels like filler before the ‘real’ conversation begins. It’s really an opportunity to make an impression,” explains Cheryl Overton, brand strategist and founder of Cheryl Overton Communications. “What makes it awkward is the lack of intention. When we approach it with a ‘get in, get out’ energy, we miss the opportunity to connect.”
Coming prepared to social situations with small talk questions and phrases will help you feel more confident—and connected— to others.
People socializing and making small talk.Image via Canva/ELEVATE
“There’s no need to try to be impressive, clever, or interesting,” says Rhonda Khan, public speaking coach and CEO at Simply Speech Solutions. “The best conversations come from being present, curious, and intentional, making small talk less of a chore and instead the beginning of a true, fulfilling connection.”
These are 5 small talk questions and phrases to keep in mind that can help you keep conversations flowing, according to communication specialists:
Phrase #1: “That sounds important to you—tell me more.”
Using this phrase during your small talk conversation will show you’re interested.
“Acknowledging what matters to someone builds instant rapport,” says Cyndee Harrison, co-founder of communications firm Synaptic. “It demonstrates empathy, active listening, and a desire to understand their perspective rather than just responding with your own.”
Phrase #2: “I would love to hear your take on this.”
This will encourage the person you are talking with to share more and make your interest clear.
“People love to share their opinions, especially on things they feel passionate about,” says Khan. “By asking their opinion, you are inviting their voice into the space, making them feel seen and valued.”
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Phrase #3: “What’s making you smile these days?”
This question will help you learn more about the passions of the person you’re talking to.
“This works by elevating ‘what do you do?’ to ‘what do you love?’,” says Overton. “It gives the other person permission to share something meaningful and energizing, which creates connection.”
Phrase #4: “I read something recently that reminded me of this…”
Using this phrase during small talk will help you connect on something you’re both curious about.
“Bringing in an outside insight adds value to the exchange and shifts the conversation from small talk to shared knowledge,” says Harrison. “It can spark curiosity and turn the moment into something memorable.”
Phrase #5: “What inspired you to get into that?”
Small talk usually involves talking about careers, and this question goes deeper.
“This works by putting the emphasis on the ‘why’ behind their ‘what’ and positions it inspirationally, making the respondent feel like a hero vs. a cog,” adds Overton. “This phrase invites story and shows you’re curious about their journey, not just their job title.”
